Wednesday, April 05, 2006

alcohol + nail polish = CRAZY DELICIOUS (- delicious)

At about 10 last night my roommate suggested we get drunk. I was at home for a job interview last weekend, so I figured, Why not? I'm a college freshman and I haven't consumed alcohol in at least 7 days. Bring it on!

We bought chasers and had 2 of our friends come down to join us. We had some vodka. Overall it wasn't very interesting. The 2 friends had gone out into the hall at some point, but I'd stayed in the room and talked to my roommate and some of her sorority friends for a bit. About 20 minutes later I go outside and find them painting each other's toenails.

It was at this point that the situation quickly degenerated into what felt like a taping of VH1's "Flavor of Love," where angry drunk ghetto chicks claw each other in the name of a heroin-addled ex-rap "star." I'm going to give the parties involved simple nicknames in honor of the show.

Anyway, Aggressive was painting Neurotic's toenails pink, and I guess in her (very) slight drunkenness she thought it would be funny to also paint Neurotic's toes. Neurotic disagreed, and retaliated by painting Aggressive's jeans. At which point Aggressive flips shit.

Aggressive jumps up, yelling about the jeans, and shoves Neurotic. Into the wall. Neurotic falls down and lies on the floor and at this point I'm thinking Aggressive is just being mock-angry and didn't mean to knock Neurotic down, and that Neurotic is just lying on the floor because she's laughing and pretending she's hurt.


Aggressive is seriously pissed about the jeans, and this time when she lunges for Neurotic again, I have to physically block her with my body. Our other friend Jewish goes to check on Neurotic, who's still lying on the floor. "You do NOT get nail polish on Seven jeans! You do NOT get nail polish on Seven jeans!" Aggressive informs us repeatedly.

Neurotic stands up after a second - she's fine, just in shock, I suppose - and runs away, presumably to the bathroom. The rest of us are making our "WTF????" faces and Aggressive just kind of stands there and finally goes, "Oh, I feel bad. I'll go get her."

Five minutes later they've reconciled in the girls' bathroom.

This might not sound so shocking, except for the fact that Aggressive is really anything but. This is the most laid-back girl I've met in my life. Forget nail polish - most of her pants have so many holes in them they look like a prairie dog colony is going to take up residence.

She didn't really have an explanation for her outburst. Just that she didn't know what happened. That's comforting!

Overall I think we all learned a very important lesson last night:

You do NOT get nail polish on Seven jeans.


At 8:23 PM, Blogger lil' meshugina said...

angry drunks are annoying, but they make for the best stories!

At 7:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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